As You Were
by bbgirl17555
Summary: Jolie. John & Natalie. He knew her. He knew how she took her coffee and the way her bottom finger would tremble when she lined up a difficult shot. He knew how she tasted and smiled and smelled. He knew Natalie- that was not her. Updated 4.3.10
1. Prologue

**As You Were**

_A/N: My brand new fic. I will be working on this and unbelievably finally finishing __You Break__ at the same time so I am planning about a chapter a week. Sorry if that is too slow. This is set within the current canon storyline. Oh and Reviews make Becca so very very happy!_

**Teaser:** He knew her. He knew how she took her coffee and the way her bottom finger would tremble when she lined up a difficult shot. He knew how she tasted and smiled and smelt. He knew Natalie- that was not her

**Prologue **

"So we have an understanding?" Todd moved to show Ramsey out the door, the Cole problem, in his eyes, having been effectively neutralized.

"I think we do." There was a hard gleam in his eyes. "But I am going to need something from you if we want to keep McBain on a tight lease."

Todd turned, front door open. "And what could that possibly be?"

"Information." Ramsey replied simply.

"Well considering I run a newspaper I think I could help," Todd paused, there was something off here. "I am just wondering what sorta information the Chief of Police can't get himself."

"Tell me about your niece."

Todd shut the door with a soft swing. "About 5'4", blonde, has a kid, and an annoying streak for always doing what is right. I can tell you right now that she doesn't get it from my side of the family." There was a low warning in his tone, an invisible threat that jumped from his words.

Ramsey ran his hand over the side table, as if erasing undetectable dust from it. "Not her. I was thinking more along the lines of Natalie Vega."


	2. Chapter One

_A/N: This story is set very differently from my other fics as far as format goes. The story will unravel piece by piece, there won't be flashback per say but information will come out a little at a time. I hope you will give it a chance. I know it might feel like I am skipping around but I promise that I am not. I am just letting the story unfold. As always feedback is very appreciated and adored- plus it makes me all giggly!_

**Chapter One**

Cris enjoyed being at Capricorn before it opened; there was something calming about the quiet space, just waiting to burst forth with life. He had just checked the bottles behind the bar and in the stockroom, marking down what they were getting low on when John pushed angrily through the front door. "Not open." Cris remarked without looking up from his task. "And if you are looking for Blair she's not here yet."

"Not looking for Blair." John replied before drawing back a fist and hitting Cris' jaw. All he could see was red, her red hair, her red car crunched, the red blood pooling out of her ear- only red, always red.

The impact was immediate, black dots swirling, as Cris' head hit the bar and John grabbed him roughly by his shirt collar. "Whoa, Man." Cris managed out through his pain, "Get a grip."

John didn't say anything, only tightened his clamp on Cris. This idiot in front of him had ruined everything. He was careless and now she was paying the price. He studied the young man, and thought how easy it would be to break his neck, debating if a quick death was too good for him.

"What do you want?" There was panic in Cris' voice.

"I just want to know how the hell you could do that to her?" And with that John shoved Cris back into the wall of bottles behind him, colored glass and alcohol shattering to the floor. He came around the side of the bar, slowly, deadly. Anger radiated off of his skin, humming.

Cris backed up. "What the hell are you talking about?" He was genuinely confused. Sure, he and the cop had scuffled a few days prior but he didn't picture John getting so worked up over Talia.

John threw another punch, this one Cris was ready for and he ducked but John brought up a knee to his abdomen causing the painter to double over, the breath knocked out of him. He picked Cris up, holding him against the broken bottoms of bottles, the glass piercing his back. "You know I never thought you deserved her but this…" Disgust was etched into John's face. "I thought you loved her."

"Hey!" A voice cut through the air, as Sarah appeared. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" She rushed over to get in between John and Cris, John backing off only to change his mind and throw one last punch at Cris. Sarah stood in front of Cris, examining her boyfriend's injuries, before facing McBain. "What is your problem?"

"Yeah, McBain." Cris spat out blood that had pooled in his mouth. "What's your issue?"

"You nearly get her killed, might still get her killed and you want to know my issue?"

Sarah put the pieces together before Cris and rose to his defense. "Is that what this is all about? It's not Cris' fault!"

"From where I am standing, it is."

Cris watched, confused, as Sarah and John continued to verbally spar. "He wasn't behind the wheel, John. She was."

It took every bit of willpower John had not to go against everything he had been taught and knock Sarah to the ground. Of course he knew that, of course he wanted to ring Natalie's pretty little neck but he couldn't. He couldn't even think badly of her because if he did? It could be the last thought he had of her. Superstitions that he normally ignored, weighed on him, as if all it took to send Natalie crashing into death was an angry word, an angry thought. But Cris? He could unleash his anger on him. He could blast the man that had cost him so much, cost him time with Natalie, cost him her trust, and now might cost him her life. "No, he was just pouring her the drinks and then letting her drive home." And as an added threat tacked on, "We have laws about that, you know."

"Okay." Cris called out, his face battered, worry in his eyes. "Can someone just tell me what is going on?" He had a tightening in his stomach that had nothing to do with the kick to the gut he had just received. Sarah telling him to sit did nothing but make it tighter.

Sarah had rushed there to tell him but now confronted with the task she almost wish he had found out some other way. She suddenly felt like she should have just stayed with the rest of the Buchanans. She took his hand in hers, giving John a harsh look, as she tried to ignore the slight tremor in Cris' fingers. "Natalie was in a car crash last night."

Cris was on his feet in an instant, moving across the floor where John stood, Sarah forgotten. "Is she gonna be okay?" For a moment, the anger melted, hatred thawing and John saw himself reflected in Cris' eyes. Two men, both still in love with a woman they had lost. For a split second he wanted to tell Cris that she was going to be okay, if only so he could hear the words himself but he couldn't, he couldn't lie. "Is she?" Cristian's voice rose.

Sarah looked between John and Cristian before tugging on her boyfriend's hand. "We need to get to the hospital."

But Cris stood rooted to the spot, his legs suddenly felt weak. John could relate. "I didn't do this. She didn't do this! John she had one drink. One." Cris was adamant. "Come on, you know me. You know, Natalie. There is no way she would drink and drive."

John wanted to believe, he wanted to. "Witness saw her here, and her swerving all over the road before she crashed." It was more information than he was allowed to release, not that he cared much for regulations at the moment, not that he cared much for anything at the moment. The only thing he cared about was lying in a hospital bed, fighting. "We are still waiting on the blood tests."

"They are going to show you. Natalie would not get behind the wheel drunk." And it suddenly struck John that he wished he had as much faith in Natalie as Cris did. "Something must have been wrong with her car or something."

John nodded, running a hand over his neck, his medal missing. He had stopped wearing it, he couldn't. It was just another reminder of her, as if he needed reminding. She was everywhere. He had put it in a box, safe and sound; she should be so lucky.

"Maybe." He tried not to picture Natalie's car, crunched and mangled, metal twisting unnaturally around nature, branches twining with broken glass. She had told him once that once she got all of her inheritance it was the first thing she ran out and bought, something shiny and red to dull the pain; something to make her stand out so she wouldn't feel so bad about not fitting in. Like Natalie would ever blend in.

There was another tug on Cristian's hand. "Hospital." She said simply.

Cris grabbed a set of keys from behind the bar, moving much too fast in John's eyes, stopping in front of the door. "Come on, McBain. Well give you a lift." John was grateful that Cris wasn't holding a grudge but since the anger had drained away he felt empty and cold. He couldn't. He couldn't say goodbye.

"I have to get to the station." The excuse was lame and he knew it.

"Come on." Sarah chimed in. "Everyone is there."

John followed them outside but shook his head no. What would he say to her, even if he could? Would he tell her all the things she had wanted to hear? Would it make a difference? John doubted it. He was losing his faith; his faith in justice, his faith in her, his faith in God. How could one person suffer so much? And he wondered if it was him, if God was punishing him. "I can't." He repeated.

Cristian and Sarah climbed into Cris' jeep before Cris shouted out across the vacant parking lot. "It's not about you. It's about her."

John watched the jeep peel away he wanted tell Cris that he knew that. It was all about her, all of it, his life was always about Natalie. He just wasn't sure then who he was without her.

TBC


	3. Chapter Two

_A/N: I warned you all, it might feel like I am skipping around but I promise the back story will unfold._

**Chapter Two**

He found her where he least expected her to go, or where he most expected his Natalie to go. But she was not her. She was an imposter, parading around in her skin with vacant eyes and a hard set jaw, just waiting for life to knock her to the ground, waiting for the blow that had always come. "Hey." He approached her slowly, cautiously, as if she were a criminal he was trying to talk down.

"I'm not stupid enough to jump." She replied, her feet dangling over the edge of the Angel Square Hotel roof. She kicked them back and forth like a child, noting but air and risk beneath her feet. She waited for him to make a move, or to pull her back or to even speak and when he didn't she found her voice. "So do I know you, too?" She asked, bite in her voice.

"A little." John replied, taking a seat next to her on the ledge.

Natalie nodded, absorbing this bit of information, stocking it away with all the rest that had been dumped on her in the past two days; the last seven years condensed down into bulletin points. "So, you live here?"

It was small talk, but it was a start. He told her yes. He wanted to say more but was too afraid to speak, the wrong word and she would be gone again. He thought about calling Vicki, or Rex, or Roxy, or anyone and letting them know that he had found her but he knew they would all rush to her; embraces not welcome in her world. So he just sat with her, mutely studying her. Stitches marred her crown but other than that she was still Natalie, same sapphire eyes, same flaming hair, it was her expression that was so different, a hardness that made her almost unrecognizable. He had heard stories, she herself had told him that she had changed, but he had never thought that the metamorphous had been so drastic. Finally, as the sun dipped beneath the horizon he found the courage to speak again. "It's getting late."

"I know." She replied and John could hear the tears laden in her voice, her hair flickering with the last orange rays of light. She swallowed hard before standing, dusting her dirty palms on designer jeans that she would have never owned, a life time ago. "Can you not say anything?" She stepped back, the edge further away and John wondered why he didn't feel the least bit relived. "Please?" She tacked on, a desperate plea that she hated resorting to.

John sighed, a hand running over the back of his neck. She looked so hopeless, so fearful, but he just couldn't. "They are just worried about you, you know."

No, she didn't know. She had never had someone worry about where she was, or what she was doing; Roxy had never taught her words like curfew, check in, and love. "Not really." The reply was spoken under her breath but John heard it, his heart aching for her.

"Where would you even go?" He attempted to appeal to the cold logic; she seemed to be dealing in nothing but it. "Do you even have any money?"

He had meant to ask if she had any cash with her but she answered the question at face value, cool mocking in her tone. "Don't you know? I'm an heiress."

Of course, he wondered who had told her, wondered if anyone explained that it was locked away in a trust by her own design. Probably not, he decided, this Natalie wouldn't understand that. "Not sure you can buy a cup of coffee just by saying you're an heiress." He pointed out.

Natalie dug into the pocket of her jeans. "What about these?" She held her palm out to him, two diamond earrings in her cupped hand. Noticing John's dubious expression she suddenly snatched them back and examined them. "They are mine, right? I found them in the hospital room in a bag with my name on it."

"Would it matter if they weren't?" John challenged.

"Go to hell." Natalie spat back. "I am not a thief." It was a lie of course; she had stolen many times in her life but never out of greed. She was not the type of kid to lift a candy bar but every school notebook had been gotten at a five finger discount.

John sighed to himself, this girl a stranger in front of him. "They are yours. Your father-"A sharp look from Natalie had him correct himself. "Clint Buchanan gave them to you for Christmas."

Natalie let that information sink in, foreign and odd, diamond earrings for Christmas, one year Roxy had given her a stuffed bear, and it was the best Christmas she could remember. "Then I'll pawn 'em."

John wanted to tell her no, to tell her how much those little earrings meant to her, not because of the worth but because it meant that she was part of a family, a real family, and not whatever house of horrors that she grew up in. But he didn't. "Sounds like a plan. But where are you gonna go? You are going to need a place to stay and last time I checked you weren't exactly familiar with Llandview."

"I found this place, didn't I?" She tossed back.

John didn't want to touch that, didn't want to know how or why; he wanted to believe it was something bigger that drew her back her. He wanted to believe it was them, how they used to be, a sign that she was already healing and all of this was nothing more than a nightmare that would fade by the early morning light. "That you did."

He didn't ask, so she didn't tell. "Hey do you know where there is a Waffle House near here?"

"A Waffle House?" He parroted back with a smile, this new Natalie, old Natalie, who ever she was, was definitely different.

"Yeah. A Waffle House." She watched him smile to himself. "Why is that so funny?"

"Nothing. I just didn't think that you liked-" He saw a shadow fall between them, and quickly backed off of a life she didn't know anymore. "Never mind."

Natalie seemed slightly insulted. "I like them." She didn't say that she felt safe in them because Roxy used to drop her off there to wait while she hit the slots. Tucked in her little booth she would listen to the people around her and sit, eating her eggs and waffles suffocated in syrup. It sure beat that empty house, or trying to get Roxy to bed after she had had one too many drinks. "Okay then." She made a move to leave before turning around. "I know you are gonna call them, but can you do me at least one favor?"

"Depends." John answered but doubting that he could deny her anything.

"Give me at least a thirty minute head start. I mean you know where I am going after all." John didn't say anything as she slipped through the door to the stairs. He knew where she had been, knew more about it then she did, but where she was going, who she was now he wasn't quiet sure of.

TBC

_A/N: Did I lose anyone? Everyone got what happened? Everyone a little confused but short of a migraine? Good! The next chapter will have a lot of back story to help prevent massive headaches again._


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

It surprised him how much it upset him. His palms itched, and there was a knot in his stomach and a lump in his throat that made swallowing difficult. Not that he had an interest in eating, all he cared about was a certain red head- well that and getting out. When the cuffs had been placed on him he had gone, well not quietly, but he hadn't punched anyone's lights out which he supposed was a big step for him. He had been in a cell, lived day in and day out with bars, but the pain hadn't been like this, it hadn't seared his stomach and hallowed out his heart. No, Jared had never experienced this kind of pain.

The guard announced a visitor and he quickly crossed the small space. "Thank God." He looked at his father, the man whose name he had cast aside. "Are you here to bail me out?"

Charlie tucked his hands into his jacket pockets, shame mingling with guilt. There was something wrong about a father letting his son sit in prison but at the moment he didn't have much choice. "How- how you holding up?"

Jared gawked at the man in front of him. How was he doing? He was in the seventh circle of hell. "How do you think I am doing?" It came out as a sharp bark, making Charlie look even more like a hangdog.

"I mean… I know this must be tough on you."

Jared could see through Charlie's stammering that he wasn't going to be of any help. "Never mind. How's Natalie?" There was a flash of something in his father's blue eyes that made Jared withdrawal. "You don't honestly think that I did what they say I did?"

Taking a deep breath, Charlie carefully weighed his words. He didn't want to believe it, but he didn't want to believe his son had grown for a broken hearted little boy into a con either. Yet the truth was right in front of his eyes. "Rex told me to tell you that it would be a lot easier for everyone if you just struck a plea bargain."

"A plea bargain?" He repeated, dumbfounded. "For what?" He couldn't control the way his voice boomed, echoing against the concrete and steel. A sharp glance from the guard made Jared lower his voice, leaning in to Charlie as much as the bars would allow. "I didn't drug, Natalie."

Rohypnol that is what they had found on Natalie's blood work. Cris' had been right, Natalie had one drink that night, far below the legal limit. The rohypnol had shown up when John ordered further blood test, a date rape drug. It was lucky for Jared that Antonio had received the result first and quiet pushed forward an arrest warrant. As it was, Jared was behind bars before John could kill him, and kill him he would if given half a chance.

"You have to believe me!" Jared insisted. "I didn't put anything in Natalie's drink. Look-" He pleaded his case. "We went to Capricorn, Cristian made her a Cosmo, she drank it and ate some chili fries and then she left. If I had drugged her wouldn't I have insisted on driving her home? I mean, come on! Natalie and I were in love." A bit of fear crept into his last statement; she had felt it too hadn't she? Jared wasn't so sure, time had its way on him, making things once so sharp and clear, hazy and fuzzy.

"Then why don't you tell them that?" Charlie asked. "Take a lie detector test or whatever they need!"

Jared sighed, bringing a hand to his weary head. "I can't. I can't, Dad."

Charlie felt a twinge of pity course through him but pushed it aside. "You mean you won't." He corrected his son.

"So what? I should tell them I lied about being a Buchanan? I am sure that will make me look very reliable." He shook his head. "I can't. Can't you see that? I just have to wait." He resigned himself to his fate. "Natalie will remember everything and then- she will tell them. She will tell them that we were together and that I would never hurt her." It was too optimistic for a man that considered himself a realist, but at the darkest hours there was nothing but hope to hang on to.

Jared tried not to think about Natalie in that hospital bed; scared out of her mind, pulling at her IV's insisting that she was fine and that she couldn't afford all of it. The Buchanan clan had been ushered out save for Vicki and they watched through the open door as Natalie flat out refused to believe her mother. She wasn't an heiress, she didn't have a twin sister, her father died years ago; it was all some sort of sick joke that they were playing on her, a twisted game.

Roxy was the next option but that choice had appeared to be ill thought out. Natalie was visibly shaking and it took every bit of willpower for Jared not to rush in and force her lousy mother to leave. She kept saying that she didn't really take the money, that she had used it to pay the rent and power bills and that she was sorry. Roxy, of course, was confounded and blabbed endlessly about Natalie having all the money in the world. Finally it was Doctor Michael McBain that had stepped in and told everyone that Natalie needed her rest.

Two hours later they were scouring the hospital for her. Three more hours and with Natalie still missing Jared Buchanan had been arrested. So he sat in his cell and waited on hinged hope that everything would somehow work out, just this once, it would work out for him.

"Have they at least found her?" He asked, sitting on his cold cot, head hanging in his hands.

Charlie longed to comfort his son, but he would not lie, not any longer. "Not yet." Jared swore under his breath. "McBain had a lead but he lost her."

"McBain." Jared repeated, of course. He wanted to believe that the cop had something to do with Natalie's drugging; he had after all been at Capricorn that fateful night. Jared had watched from across the room, their easy banter, jealousy filling his veins at how they just were, how they just clicked. He had been pulled aside by the new police commissioner to discuss some of the rumors swirling about B.E. blackmailing CEOs, but he had been far too distracted by watching the love of his life smile and laugh with someone else. If Jared hadn't brought her drink directly, he would have loved to believe that John had something to do with it, but he couldn't.

"About him." Charlie hesitated. "I think it would be best if you just sat tight here for a little while."

"You are not posting my bail?" Disbelief was etched across the young man's handsome features.

"Rex thinks it's for the best."

"Well whatever Rex thinks!" Sarcasm dripped from his tongue, he was envious of a place he had freely given up.

"Yes!" Charlie had too agreed it was for the best. "And I think he is right! Right now McBain is looking for someone to pay for what happened to Natalie. I get you out I might as well sign your death sentence." There was truth to Charlie's words but Jared did not want to acknowledge it just yet. It was too much to be born, too much to endure. Charlie softened at the sight of his son, so obviously lost. "Just sit tight. I will talk to Rex and we- we will find whoever did this to Natalie. I will get you out of here, Son."

But Jared just shook his head. "Don't worry about me. Just find Natalie." Hope, it was all he had left.

_A/N: I hope that scene helped clear up any lingering confusion from the previous chapter. This story is being written scene by scene and yes it will explain why Ramsey was so interested in Natalie in the prologue. Again thanks for the feedback. It really inspires me to keep churning out the Chapters. _


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

They weren't getting anywhere. He stood, detached, emptiness coursing through his body, a virus that made him cold. This wasn't a place he belonged, all the spoons matched. These weren't his people. They were her people, he had been accepted in because of her, only her. Rex listened as they fought and all he could think of is that they weren't getting anywhere, no closer to finding Natalie, no closer to fixing this.

"I don't really care what you think, Bo!" Clint hollered at his brother, his face growing hot, the tips of his ears flaming red. Rex tried not to think how Natalie's ears did the same thing. He tried. "I am going to call the press right now as issue a reward."

Bo put his hand over the receiver. "No. You won't!"

"Like, Hell, I will! I think you are forgetting who her father is here!"

"Then why don't you start acting like it!" Rex almost wanted to clap. Bo had always been there for her, for him and Natty both, and as it seemed to him a reward would do nothing but muck the wheels. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry would call in with false info hoping for a little bit of a handout.

"Oh I ought to…" Clint raised a balled fist, his anger at Natalie having slipped through their fingers bubbling over.

It was enough, it was too much. "Knock it off!" Rex stepped between the feuding Buchanans. "This isn't helping anything."

"Rex is right." Jessica added, hating to see how unhinged her family had become. "Mom, are you okay?"

Vicki sat on the sofa, the green floral print blurry beneath her eyes. Even Rex could see she was tired, bone tired, the kind of tired that caused an ache that no amount of sleep could cure. Without any warning she had dissolved into a rush of hot tears. "I can't. I can't do this again." If she meant lose another daughter, or have to wait again on pin and needles no one asked. Jessica just swooped down, holding her mother tightly.

Somewhere a bell rang, but Rex couldn't place it. He kept looking at Vicki, she was pale, and he was worried. Natalie would kill him if he let something happen to her mom. Then he remembered. Vicki wasn't Natalie's mom, at least not as far as Natalie was concerned. It was his fault, he was so sure of it, he should have gone to see her, not sent Roxy. He knew better, he more than anyone else knew how Roxy had been, the drunken slurs, the nights spent with empty stomachs, the revolving boyfriends. He had known all that, but somehow he had forgotten; he only saw that she was different. It was his fault.

"Any news?" John came in, questions pecking at him. He hadn't want to come to Llandfair, not empty handed, but there was nothing left.

Rex could tell from the way his blue eyes fell that there was no news, there was nothing. She had vanished. Just gone from his life, just like when Aunt Corrine had taken him away. His stomach had ached then and he had cried then, he was too heartsick to cry now. "I'm sorry."

Fifteen minutes. That was it. All the time he had given her, a bit of a head start, a small gift he had hoped would give her time to calm down, time to be his Natalie. Fifteen minutes and twelve Waffle Houses later, she was gone. He felt stupid for trusting her, he knew Natalie, knew that when she back was against the wall that she would come out swinging, that she would lie when she needed to. And she had felt she needed to. "I think we might need to concentrate our search on areas she would go."

"Like the quarry or Rodi's?" Jessica offered.

It was wrong, and Rex knew why. "She wouldn't associate with those places." John answered. "She thinks she is eighteen, feels like she is eighteen."

"So you think she has gone back to Atlantic City?" Vicki deduced.

"Maybe, maybe not." John ran a hand through his hair, he didn't know this girl, how could he? "Look, she said something about a Waffle House so the men are checking all of them for the next fifty miles." He didn't want to let them know how she had fallen right through his grasp, but they deserved to know.

"You talked to her?" Bo asked.

"Just a moment." John sighed. "She said something about going to a Waffle House while I called everyone."

"But why a Waffle House?" Jessica asked. "Natalie doesn't even eat breakfast."

"Because it is where Roxy used to dump us when she went to the casinos." There he had said it. He could feel the pity in their eyes and he inwardly seethed. They shouldn't know; Natalie wouldn't want them to know.

"She what?" Jessica asked, disgust coating her voice.

Steely blue eyes met Rex' gaze; John knew. "Well all know Roxy was a lousy mother. Let's try to focus here." John commanded the ciaos, his urgency adding bite to his voice, making him hard lest he fall apart. "So we gotta think, where would this Natalie go?"

"John," Bo stepped up. "None of us knew Natalie back then."

"I know." John huffed, a hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But you have to know something, stories, something!"

"Well obviously she would head back to Atlantic City, right?" Jessica concluded.

"Hold on." Bo raised his hand. "What about her looking up Rex and heading to Michigan?"

"No." Rex shook his head. Not him, she would never run to him, she protected him, not the other way around. "She didn't even know where Aunt Corrine had me when Jessica brought me here." He tried not to remember the rush of love he had felt when he saw her, older, more beautiful, but still with that fire he had always admired. She survived on pure determination. He told himself she would survive this, she had to.

"So Atlantic City then?" Clint asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

"Yeah." John sighed, the air leaving his lungs, she used to take his breath away; losing her took everything. "But A.C. isn't exactly a small town. And someone like Natalie? She is going to know how to lay low."

Clint looked at the lieutenant in front of him, a mix of pity and anger fighting within him, he had lost Natalie, but his pain was almost palpable. Then he was struck with a brain storm "Credit cards! Did she have hers? We could track them."

"It's worth a shot." Bo patted his brother on the back but doubted his niece would be foolish enough to use them.

Vicki stood on wobbling feet, and Jessica immediately gave her a hand. Rex thought she looked like a porcelain doll about to crack. "Thank you, sweetheart. I think we should also look into that house she was living in with Roxy." She turned her head away from Rex's knowing look; she didn't want to think of her daughter growing up in that horrible place.

"It's a start." John needed to leave, it was all too painful to watch, and even if they got her back it wouldn't be her. It wouldn't be their Natalie.

Bo and Clint thanked John and Rex watched as Vicki hugged him, seeing how stiff the officer was in her embrace; maybe he knew he didn't belong either. "Wait." Jessica called as John went to leave. "Seth!"

"Oh no." The thought had popped right out of Rex' mouth, a groan. "Not that idiot!"

John stood taller, a challenge he couldn't place. "Who's Seth?" He asked Jessica, with a sharp look at Balsom to bite his tongue.

Jessica fiddled with a piece of her goldilock blonde hair. "They used to date." Seeing a bolt of jealousy flash in John's stare, she quickly amended. "When she first came to Llandview."

"You mean before he dated you." Rex tacked on, ignoring Jessica mouthing 'shut up'.

The world shifted slightly under John's feet, and his pointed look at Jessica reflected it. How could Natalie do that, how could she keep loving people that hurt her, how had she loved him? "Do you have his number or know where he might be?" Jessica scurried over to a desk in the corner pulling out a dated address book and handing it to John. "Thanks." He wasn't feeling grateful. "Do you still talk to him?"

Jessica shook her head no, wishing that John would stop looking like she was some kind of monster. Maybe she was, she knew Natalie was in love with him, but she was also an evil bitch back then. It was all so jumbled in her head. "We lost touch after we broke up."

"He's a creep." Rex piped up. John didn't have to know Seth to fully agree with that assessment. He was probably stupid too, John reflected, no one with half a brain would leave Natalie for Jessica.

"You just didn't like him because he saw through your con." Jess fired back.

John mouthed bye under the yelling that erupted to Mrs. Davidson. Maybe they would get somewhere. Maybe they would get Natalie.

TBC

_A/N: I know nothing fab. I promise so John\Natalie interaction coming up along with some hints on what Ramsey is up to._


	6. Chapter Five

_A/N: Sorry for the huge delay. OLTL has been a muse killer lately. Anyway without further ado. _

**Chapter Five**

Peanuts crunched under his heavy shoes, as he surveyed the room in front of him. The smoky haze stung his eyes and there was loud rock music pouring from badly mounted speakers that seemed to have a slight echo. A flash of red hair and he felt himself exhale. She was already there, thank god.

He rubbed his neck, trying to ease the ache and the eventual bruises, as he watched her work. She looked the part, dark jeans, a simple low cut tank and her hair tied up into a high ponytail with a black ribbon tied into a bow. Sometimes he thought she hadn't changed at all. He watched as she smiled, delivering a round to a table of guys that had gone to her high school. They flirted with her easily, wives not important in the dingy bar. And Seth felt his jaw harden, it was a mistake getting her a job here, those guys were trouble.

"Hey." She approached him, empty tray in her hand. "You're late."

"Thanks, Boss." He teased. "Remind me again when you took over for Sam."

She rolled her eyes. "Remind me again why I even care if you get fired?" Natalie bantered back. Of course she cared. Seth was her rock, the only piece of her life that made sense. It had taken two days to find him but she did and no words had been needed. She was in trouble and he offered her help. Eventually over a long night of drinking the whole story had spilt out, a life she didn't know, a life she didn't even want.

It was different between them. She knew that. There were no kisses between classes and nights spent hanging out on the football field looking at the stars and planning their escape. But there was something else. The way he watched her, too cautious, as if she would break, or worse slip through his fingers. She tried to pretend that no time had past but what was the point? She felt as though she had fallen asleep and woke up in a new world. Nothing as it should have been.

"Hey!" A voice cut through her revere. "Can we get another round?"

And fastening a smile firmly in place she said sure, going round the bar to pull out iced bottles. Seth followed her, stopping only for a moment to clock in and then thanked Benny for covering for him as he took up his place behind three feet of oak.

"Hey." He whispered low in her ear, his hands drumming nervously along the bar. "You know what ever happens that I love you, right?"

Natalie wrinkled her brow, offering him a peck on the cheek before replying. "You are acting kinda strange. I've got work to do."

Seth filled the drink orders that came in for three quarters of an hour, watching her work and flirt with a smile that never reached her eyes, and her hands eagerly pocket the tips that came rolling in. Every time the door opened he felt his heart leap. It was only a matter of time until he showed up, and then what? Would he take her away? What if she didn't want to go? Would he force her?

Seth felt like a Judas. His body ached, proof that he had tried to keep his mouth shut, but it didn't matter did it? He knew where to find her, and it was Seth's fault. Suddenly the guilt became too heavy and he grabbed Natalie, interrupting her taking a drink order and pulling her to an empty corner.

"What is with you tonight?" She asked, wrenching herself free. "Do you know that you just killed my tip from them?"

"Screw the tip." Natalie looked at him like she was questioning his sanity. They needed money, desperately. "Look, you need to get out of here." He placed his keys in her hand. "Here take my jeep."

"What? No!" Natalie exclaimed. "And then we can both get fired? Have you lost your mind?"

She started to walk away but Seth grabbed her back, placing two hands firmly on her shoulders. "Listen. I did something stupid." That statement got Natalie's attention, her eyes rapt. "Someone came around my mom's house looking for you."

"And you told them where I was?" Natalie almost shouted, fear clawing in to her voice before she calmed herself down. She could deal with this. She had to deal with this. "Okay who was it? Roxy?" Her mind was already clicking away. Roxy could be a handful but she could deal with her, but if it was one of the supposed family members she didn't know what to do. "Who?"

"Me." Natalie looked up to find John standing there. "Hello, Natalie." He drawled. There was a joyous leap in his heart that he tried to downplay. He was grungy and tired, having slept very little over the past 26 days. Almost a month, he sighed to himself. It had taken him pulling every string he had at the Bureau for him to finally get a lead on Seth Anderson. Whatever this kid was into he was certain it wasn't on the up and up. Not that he cared anymore. He had Natalie that was all that mattered.

For a moment her eyes locked on to his and she felt a rush. White hot frustration bubbled to the surface, flashing in her eyes before she had her mask in place, a smile that wasn't. He saw it and wanted to groan about teenagers, except Natalie wasn't, not anymore. She hadn't been for sometime. "You again?" She rolled her eyes and John couldn't help the annoyance that grew in his stomach.

"Me again." He answered a bit flippantly, feeling Seth's eyes bore into him. "Good to see you again" She stood in front of him and he appraised her from head to toe. She looked a little thin and pale but basically unharmed. He noted the black ribbon in her crimson hair. It was a deception, it made her look younger, or on second thought it might be the pout that had settled on her lips. "You too Seth."

"Yeah right!" Seth shouted, though it was barely audible against the din. "Just like when you had me pinned to an alley wall!"

"Spilling your guts." John added, reminiscing fondly. He had no remorse for putting the squeeze on Seth. He would do worse for Natalie.

Natalie's eyes darted back and forth between John and Seth, both men not even bothering to glance her way, and irritation trumped her anxiety. She edged past both of them, heading back to the table she had been so rudely pulled away from. John and Seth were hot on her heels, lurking behind her as she took a drink order and then approaching her at the bar. "Hey!"

"Can you get me these?" Natalie passed the order over to Seth before turning to John. "Can I get you something to drink?" Her voice was honeyed, and John could tell that she wanted to do nothing more than bolt. It was a front, a brave face, something he had seen Natalie do a hundred times before. It had taken all of his will power not to wrap his arms around her as soon as he saw her. The time had softened everything, and he was having a hard time remembering that this girl was practically a stranger to him. There was a hardness to her and yet every now and then when the light caught her hair he could almost see her, his girl.

"What?" Seth shouted in annoyance.

Natalie shot Seth a darkened look. "Obviously that's why he is here. It's not like he can force me to go anywhere with him." She sent a pointed glance to John. "I only know you 'a little', right?"

John exhaled loudly. Seth could see the emotions play out over the cops face. He knew them well joy and exasperation went hand in hand where Natalie was concerned. Still Natalie had a point. John could rough him up all he wanted, but if Natalie didn't want to do something God help the man that tried to make her. "True." John hated to admit when he was wrong, even more if it meant Natalie was right. "But I could make things rather difficult for you. Do you know it's illegal to hire someone under the table?"

"You, son of a bitch." Seth ground out. "What Sam ever do to you, huh?"

But John wasn't looking at the dark haired bartender; he only had eyes for the red head standing next to him. She reached behind the bar pulling out to bottles of beer as she waited for Seth to fill the rest of the order. "I'm not going back to Llandview." Natalie stated simply, her eyes gauging John's reaction.

"Who said anything about going to Llandview?" John almost smiled, seeing her wavering. It was a start.

"So what do you want?" Her eyes were rough, measuring him and John shifted beneath her steady gaze.

"Me?" John shrugged. "I just want to talk."

"Talk?" Natalie wasn't buying that, but maybe she could use it, stall for time.

"Yeah. Just talk. Oh, " And John added. "And you have to promise not to disappear on me again."

Natalie sucked in her breath, weighing her options. She couldn't afford to lose her job and Sam was such a sweetheart. She didn't want to get him in trouble when he had helped her. Sticking a hand out, she waited John to return her handshake. "Deal. Now if you boys will excuse me, I have a job to do."

John watched her with a smile as she walked away. He just might like this girl.

_A/N Hopefully people are still reading and yes we will get back to Ramsey. I promise I am not as flighty as I seem!_


	7. Chapter Six

_A/N: OLTL is not kind to my muse. I should just stop watching. I know there are still many unanswered questions but since this is a scene by scene fic you will have to wait just a little longer to see what Ramsey is up to. As always I adore all of your comments and feedback. They really inspire me to keep writing. Thanks everyone- Becca_

**Chapter Six**

She watched him out of the corner of her eye. He had made a phone call earlier and she wondered who to, not a wife, there was no tell tale white mark there, but maybe a girlfriend. That made sense; a man like him would probably have them in reserve, he was very good looking. On second thought she concluded that his aloofness was slightly off putting and he seemed ill at ease at the smiles granted his way.

She approached him, setting a beer in front of him. "Here."

"I didn't order this." It wasn't mean, just a simple fact.

"I know. It's on the house; you look like you could use it." He took a swallow and she pulled a chair up to his dingy corner table. "Look, I normally don't do this. I don't get involved but she's taken."

"What?" John looked at the blonde waitress sharply.

Sandra smiled to herself; at least she had his attention. "Natalie. I noticed you watching her and saw you talking to her earlier. She's a nice girl and all. But she-" Sandra paused trying to come up with the right words. "She has a chip on her shoulder that can't be touched and even if she didn't the line to get to her is pretty deep." She gestured to a table of guys that Natalie was serving with a flirtatious smile.

"So what else do you know about her?" John asked, good detectives took informants where ever they found them, even if it was a blonde waitress that was hitting on him.

Sandra took a measured glance, raking over his dark hair to his dark work boots before shifting her glance to the bar. There Seth was flirting, a little too well in John's opinion, with a brunette in a too tight top. "That's her boyfriend."

"Sure isn't acting like it." John commented dryly. His eyes sought out Natalie. He saw her pause, eyes shooting daggers in the direction of the bar, above the heads of her patrons.

The blonde waitress shrugged. "I don't make the news, just report it. If you need anything just holler." And she left him alone. He pulled out his cellphone, quickly sent a text message to Rex, having called Vicki earlier. He knew Rex would likely cause problems if left out of the loop. He glanced up and found himself eye level with a black shirt pulled over a taught stomach. John struggled to swallow, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Hey." Natalie looked down at him, reckless waves rolling off of her skin. "Wanna dance?" John saw her eye-line flick from him, to Seth and the brunette he was flirting with, and back again. It didn't take a detective to deduce what was going on or the fact that she was using him as a pawn in a play meant to injure Seth. He had seen this move before, back then it was Paul, now it was him. Sensing him hesitate a second too long, Natalie rolled her eyes. "Never mind! Hey Abrams!" She called to the table of men she had been serving earlier, searching for someone more than willing to be part of her ploy as long as they could rub up against her delicious curves.

She felt a hand on her wrist, pulling her back. "Hey." His voice was low, it rasping against her ear as he pulled her towards him. "A dance sounds good." John knew he should have turned her down the second her game became clear but he couldn't. Natalie had this pull on him, marionette strings dangling from her fingertips, attached securely to his heart.

She looked up at him, her head slightly to the side, puzzling out this dark stranger in front of her. "Really?" It came out unbidden, Natalie unable to check her own surprise. He didn't seem like the dancing type, Natalie mused. He seemed like someone who would linger on the side, a cigarette perched between his two fingers as he watched, undressing the women with his searing gaze, blue eyes that were a little too icy and saw too much. She already felt stripped bare under his glance, raw naked emotions lying out for him to strum through.

"You are the one handing out the invitation." He reminded her. There was no tart reply; just a bit of a puckered brow as she wondered what she had gotten herself into. Turning, she walked to the dance floor, his heavy step a breath behind her own light tread.

There were other couples on the floor, but John wasn't sure what they were doing could be classified as dancing, more like grinding. The music was something pop with a bit of rock edge; John couldn't make out the lyrics, the echo of off set speakers and the thundering of his own heart drowning out the sound. Natalie stopped, turning, selecting a spot where Seth could easily spot her, as if she was easy to miss. Suddenly John felt foolish, what was he doing here?

Natalie sensed his hesitation and took a step forward, pressing her body against his, her nimble fingers coming to rest on his hips before leaning up on her tippy toes and whispering in his ear. "Just follow my lead." Her breath was warm and moist against his skin, sending a bolt of lust up his spine.

She rocked her hips in time to the music, her hands guiding his to move with her, their bodies melded together. She twisted in his embrace, grinding her ass against his now evident arousal, his hands on her hips clutching at the hem of her top. John tried not to feel, tried to ignore the delicious torture she was administering but it was no use, between heaven and hell there was a thin and wavering line. There was always a hyper-awareness when he was with Natalie, something he hadn't experienced since high school, since first loves and first heartbreaks; he could tell when their skin came within a breath of each other, where their clothes touched gently, and where every bit of her decadent body was molded against his own. She turned again, her hands playing with his belt, before the song stopped.

There was an announcement, some local band slowly trudged up and began warming up, the floor emptying. "Not bad." Natalie smiled up at him, the tips of her ears flaming pink. She had relished the feel of his hand on her body; there was nothing awkward or foreign about his embrace, instead his fingertips seemed to leave a trail of fire, the heat crawling up her body leaving her breathless and slightly dazed.

"Nice show." Seth stood behind John, his presence popping their moment. "Are you done now?" It was clear he was addressing Natalie, his remark casting a sour frown on her face.

This is what she had wanted, Seth away from that brunette, him jealous, only now Natalie couldn't remember exactly why. Her head was spinning; she turned and watched as a woman opened a poorly wrapped gift, and then lifted the lid, she couldn't hear the melody but something inside her lurched. "Largest ball of twine." Natalie said to herself.

"What are you talking about?" Seth asked, looking at her as if she were crazy.

John stood rock still, fear pinning him in. He watched her with a hawk like gaze, her eyes staring at the music box in the woman's hand and all he could think was, not that. There were so many moments he wanted to give her back, moments that would make her his Natalie again that he had let himself forget all of the heartache. He didn't want her to remember that, to remember how he had almost gotten her killed because he couldn't stay away, some good natured ribbing and a killer set his sights on her. John swallowed hard, bile rising in his throat. "Natalie."

Seth seemed to sense something, his jealousy receding as waves of worry washed up; his eyes darting between Natalie and John. "Natty, you okay?" He placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump back slightly, her mind pulled to the present.

"Yeah. I'm fine." The lied slipped from her lips without thought, play the part, force the smile- lessons she learned at Roxy's knee hammering into her head; bluff baby girl. "I'm just a little hot. I think I am going to go splash some water on my face."

Seth nodded and Natalie crossed heading for the neon restroom sign. "Why don't you just back off, man?" Seth asked John as soon as Natalie was out of ear shot. "She doesn't need this right now."

"Shit." John wasn't listening, his eyes had been tracking Natalie trough the crowd, no sooner had she gotten to the bathroom door did she swing around and bolt out the front door. He wove in and out of the crowd, pushing his way through the din making his way to the parking lot in time to see Natalie peel away in his rented sedan. "Damn." John quickly checked his pockets, wallet, badge, keys, all gone- only his cell remained.

"Come on." Seth offered, too panicked to realize he was offering aid to the enemy. "We can take my jeep." The brunette headed to a dark green jeep before groaning in frustration. "I gave her my keys."

John watched the taillights disappear in the rush of traffic, her slipping through his fingers, so close to having her home. "Dammit, Natalie."

TBC


	8. Chapter Seven

**As You Were**

_A/N: I know I stink about updating but I got inspired. I would so like to point out that I had the whole teenage idea way before they messed it up and used it for Jessica. My idea was so much better, Teen Jess is just annoying! Anyway you know the drill. Feedback keeps the Becca writing._

**Chapter Seven**

He handed over the borrowed twenties with a long sigh as he brushed his dark hair back with his hand, exhausted from a night spent searching for her, and hoping that he would find her before _him_. The cab driver took the money, not bothering to inquire if he needed change. The meter only said 24.35 as the driver pulled up to the seedy motel, one neon letter flickering in and out on the sign above that promoted 'vacancy', still in this part of town he figured the guy owed him. It wasn't far past the bright casinos, no more than a few miles, but the streets were littered with garbage and out of the tint of street lights there were shady dealings that the capped driver would rather stay out of. His passenger gave him a curt nod and Arnold, the driver, was about to drive off, in search of fare in a safer space when he saw her. He was about to warn the pretty little thing that this was no place for someone like her but it seemed his passenger was already approaching her. With a sigh he drove off. He was not the type of man to get involved in these things, too bad, she sure was cute.

Natalie bobbed her head up and down to music that no one else heard. She was sitting on the trunk of the silver sedan that had been John's, a white bag next to her that she dug into, pulling out an onion ring and taking a bite, seemingly oblivious as she listened to John's Ipod that she had confiscated from the glove compartment.

John was about to grab her arm, as he sided up, coming from behind her but her voice stopped him. "Do it and I will break your hand." Apparently she was more aware of her surroundings than she appeared. She wiped her greasy hands off on her black pants, a smear appearing on her upper thigh and then pulled the white ear buds free. "Not bad." She commented, tossing him the Ipod. "A little too much jazz for my taste but at least you have The Boss and Jovi on there."

"Yeah." He placed the iPod securely in his pocket, not willing to mention that she was the one that had downloaded those songs, insisting he needed to have a little 'Jersey pride' another lifetime ago.

"Want one?" Natalie proffered him the white sack, the tangy smell of battered and fried onion rings wafting towards him. The smell made John's stomach churn and he shook his head, a silent decline. He had never been much for words but now he felt even more fumbling for the correct syllables to turn out the words to speak to this girl that he had known so well yet had not. Natalie shrugged, placing the bag down and hopping off the trunk with a soft plop. "What took you so long?"

_What had taken him so long?_ He wanted to strangle her, to drag her by her hair back to Llandview even if she went kicking and screaming the whole way. He had been searching every lead, every tiny place that Seth thought she might go, a bit more panicked then he could even admit to because he had been so close and the thought of her slipping through his fingers again was too much to bear. "You _stole_ my car." He accused, frustration coating his words.

"Borrowed." Natalie corrected, tossing him the keys. "You have it back so you won't need to arrest me." She watched his face at that, he suddenly looked far away, in a memory that she couldn't touch. "Can't say I saw that whole cop thing coming." She commented idly. "Especially with how easy it was to do the lift, badge is under the driver's seat by the way." John walked around the car, unlocking the door and retrieving his badge as Natalie continued on. "You just don't seem like a by the book kind of guy."

"I'm not."

"Okay." Natalie dragged out the word as if barely tolerating his two word reply. "So is that why you are here? Is this some sort of police business thing? Is that why you came looking for me?"

He shook his head, he came looking for her because he didn't have a choice. She was his addiction, a piece of his soul resided with her and if he had to, he would go to the ends of the earth to find her. She held so much of his heart in those crystal clear blue eyes that sometimes he found it hard to tell where he stopped and she started. But he would never be able to explain that to this girl. "Not exactly."

"Not much for conversation are you?" She inquired.

"Not really." John felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips despite himself. He was thinking of another Natalie, _his_ Natalie, one that had once actually told him to shut up.

"Okay. I guess I better just come right out with it since you seem to be lacking in basic communication skills that most people master before kindergarten. " Natalie broke off her rant as John turned to really face her, his face twisted up in some sort of mock injury that actually made her smile.

"Kindergarten? Not even first grade?"

"Pre Kindergarten." She insisted, fighting to downplay the smile that turned up the corners of her mouth, reminding herself that she should not be joking or flirting or whatever she was doing with the strange cop who wanted to take her back to that so called family. "Anyway," she continued with a shake of her head, trying to clear her mind, and ignore how intently he was watching her, like a cat staring at a mouse hole. "Am I in danger here?"

"What?" He didn't even know how to reply to that. There she was sitting in an empty parking lot at night in a one of the more dangerous parts of AC and yet he knew that wasn't what she meant. He tried to think of a moment when she hadn't been in danger, had been safe, really safe, safe from hurt and pain and heartache. All that came to mind was glaring white hospital walls and her red hair half caked with mud from the cave in and her hand intertwined with his but even then heartbreak had been lingering in the corners, a lie, a dead husband rotting in prison.

"Danger?" She repeated, as if he were simple minded. "Like maybe from deranged psycho killer with a thing for music boxes?" He couldn't stop the wince that crossed his face. "I can't really remember any details but I think something bad happened. I think I had went to see you..." Her voice trailed off, waiting for him to fill in the answers she felt entitled to.

"Haver. He's gone now. He can't hurt you." And John wasn't sure if he was saying that to reassure her or himself.

"Good." She tossed the word carelessly, careful not to betray the fear she felt course through her body at his name. "Well at least that is over with."

"Am I really that bad of company?"

"No." Again a smile she fighting against appeared on her face. "I meant the whole psycho killer thing. I mean, it's like, well, at least I don't have to worry about that ever happening again. You get targeted by a killer. That is the sort of thing that only happens once in a lifetime, if that. So it's not like I have to worry about going through that again."

John stomach churned at her words, he thought maybe, just maybe he should tell her but the words refused to come. She was there, with him, and she was talking to him, well babbling, but still. She was there. "Yeah."

They stood in silence for a moment, Natalie a little self conscious with the way his eyes seemed to linger on her, looking past the surface. "Well... I better be going."

She turned to go and John felt something inside him desperately wanting to cling to her, to tell her to just stay. He was exhausted, worn from worry and wear and he just needed her, needed her to stay with him.

And as if drawn back she gave him one last sad smile. "Seth worries about me."

"They worry about you." The words were crisp and controlled, causing her to falter in her exit and turn to look at him, really look at him.

"I don't even know them."

"But they know you." John could see through the dim fading light her watching him warily, something inside of her wanting to almost believe him, almost. "They know you and... well you have done some stupid thing but they- they don't leave you. They love you."

"That's great and all but I don't know them. Do you know what I felt in that hospital room with all that 'so called family'? Nothing! Not a thing! The only person I felt anything towards was Roxy and do you want to know what I felt? Hatred, shame, fear, anger. Not exactly the warm and fuzzies."

John could feel her slipping, sand falling through his fingers. One word wrong and she would be gone, locked down, and all progress, if he was even making any, would be lost. He wracked his brain before a single word came to mind, someone she trusted, someone she loved above everyone. "Rex."

She looked at John with a start. "What about Rex?"

"He's in Llandview."

She took him in with a measuring glance, challenging his claim. "He wasn't at the hospital..." And part of her wanted this man to prove her wrong, to prove that all she had known about life about disappointment and loneliness could somehow magically be erased.

"He was there." John insisted. "He, Rex, he doesn't always listen very well. He kind of likes to disobey rules and with the doctors so concerned- well one of my buddies at the PD worked to keep him from making trouble."

Natalie smiled to herself. "That sounds like Rex. I haven't seen him in..." Her smile became a thin wavering line as she remembered her Aunt Corrine standing in the doorway of their tiny disheveled home while her brother clung desperately to her leg. And then like she had been doused with water the softness was gone, replaced by distrust. "How do I even know you are telling the truth? How don't I know this isn't some trick?"

"You don't." It was an honest answer. "You just have to trust me."

Natalie laughed, a hallow bitter sound that hurt John's ears. "Trust? You? You have got to be kidding me! All you have done is lie and beat up my boyfriend and threaten my job. You really think I am dumb enough to take anything you say on faith?"

John watched as it happened, her walls raising, her alarms set, he had to act quick. His mind fumbled around for a moment rejecting ideas that were stupid before he remembered. "Look." He pulled the iPod from his pocket and thrust it into her hand.

Natalie looked at it. "Umm. Its nice but I really don't want your whatever... Its not going to make me believe you."

"Wait. Just wait." John took it back from her, his fingers pressing frantically until an image came up. It was a photo taken at Rodi's after a charity pool tournament, in it Natalie stood encircled with friends and family, Bo, John, Nora, Roxy, and to her left Rex.

"I don't have time for this."

He held it out to her. "Look, just look!" His voice was rougher than he intended but it had the desired reaction. She took the iPod.

"What am I looking at?" She sighed, scanning the image with a quick glance, " A picture of you and me, so much for knowing me 'a little'. Oh and there is Roxy and a bunch of people I don't remember. Happy?" She held out the iPod for him to take.

"Look again." John instructed and Natalie complied with a huffy breath. "Dumb looking blonde guy to your left, look familiar?"

Natalie didn't speak for a moment and then his name came out as a whisper on her lips. She hadn't seen him since... since forever. But it was him, same mischievous smile, the same puppy dog eyes. "Rex."

"He's worried about you." John used his wedge, that piece of her past that still mattered, that could reach this Natalie, and maybe, just maybe, bring his Natalie back to him. "He is in Llandview. He cares about you, a lot of people care about you. They miss you. They are worried about you."

"He's in Llandview?" John could her the uncertainty in her voice but also the hope hinging on his answer.

"He is." John confirmed. "And if... if you let me, if you trust me. I will take you to him." John walked over to the sedan and opened the passenger door. "If you let me, I can help you."

Natalie stood rooted to the spot, her eyes dancing between the photo and John, between protecting herself and running away or believing this man, this stranger. She knew, she knew she should just go, just leave but something kept her there, something in her wanted to believe him. "I don't know..." She hesitated.

"Natalie." John called her name, holding out a hand and finding only air in return. "Please." It was an uncommon word for him and he felt if she retreated that he might split in two, tearing at whatever seams were holding him together. "Please, come with me. I need you to come with me."

TBC


End file.
